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fencer_xOkay, I mentioned this in an addition to the TxN FAQ post on the comm, and in chat with a couple of people, but I wanted to go ahead and make a proper post about it here, because I just find the absolute "not normal at all"-ness of Tuti's life fascinating given Japan's need for everything to fit in proper holes, so...
It is known that Tuti's family currently consists of his mother, Yumiko, and little sister, Mizuho (or Mizuha, hard to tell). It is also known that his father died when he was young, and he goes to visit his grave during Obon.
On at least two separate occasions that I can recall, Tuti has mentioned that his mother has an 愛人 (aijin, "lover"). For a long time, I've wondered wtf this word really means, but...have been a little hesitant to ask the Japanese people around me, dunno why :P Japanese has two words for boy-/girlfriend or lover: 愛人, or more commonly 恋人 (koibito). If you've been in an anime or Japan-based fandom, no doubt you've heard "koibito" before. It's the word young couples toss around or you find in song lyrics, and really generally translates to boy-/girlfriend.
So what, then, is the difference between 愛人 and 恋人, and what does it mean that Tuti refers to the person his mother is with as the former? A quick google search reveals that this is a common question among Japanese people themselves, so I don't feel so bad XD
Apparently, while the term koibito carries with it the connotation of an open, public relationship much like the one most people are in when they are dating or call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, the term aijin carries with it the connotation of exactly the opposite: a relationship founded on the same love and passion, but not open or public, hidden, for any reason be it moral, ethical, whatever.
Two students dating, open about it with their peers, may be called koibito. But a salaryman who purchases time at a love hotel on the weekends away from his wife to have an affair is with his aijin. Do I think Tuti's mom is part of an affair with a married man or something? Nah. But in a country where, at least among her generation, men and women don't just "live together" (at least not for a long time, and definitely not in a romantic relationship) without getting married, I can't imagine she would be spoken of very kindly in a small town if she was shacking up with a random dude, even if it was for a long time (the way Tuti speaks so easily of his mother's aijin, it feels like he must be a father-figure [or maybe his mom's a HOMO like her son :D]). She likely has reasons for not wanting to get married again--maybe she feels like it would be against the wedding vows she made with Tuti's father (are Japanese wedding vows even LIKE that? And dude, even in Western weddings, death's one of the tickets out~), maybe they just don't find it necessary, maybe they want to buck a trend, who knows!
Whatever the reason, I think...for Tuti to have grown up in that kind of environment, likely so different from that of his friends, it must have had an impact on how he views the meaning of a relationship with someone important, even if subliminal. Seeing that his mother was happy with someone despite what society told her she should be doing, living her life and loving who she loved regardless of what was "proper," it could only have been a positive influence on him if he found that his own feelings drifted towards the less-than-socially-acceptable. And despite the, "G-GAY?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THAT?!" attitude he has now, it....really makes me happy knowing that he at least grew up in an environment where his mom was a trend-bucking BAMF and likely instilled that in her children, too :D
or who knows, maybe she IS married to the new guy and he just feels weird calling him his 'step-dad' or 'my mom's husband' so he just sticks with a term that means lover :P
It is known that Tuti's family currently consists of his mother, Yumiko, and little sister, Mizuho (or Mizuha, hard to tell). It is also known that his father died when he was young, and he goes to visit his grave during Obon.
On at least two separate occasions that I can recall, Tuti has mentioned that his mother has an 愛人 (aijin, "lover"). For a long time, I've wondered wtf this word really means, but...have been a little hesitant to ask the Japanese people around me, dunno why :P Japanese has two words for boy-/girlfriend or lover: 愛人, or more commonly 恋人 (koibito). If you've been in an anime or Japan-based fandom, no doubt you've heard "koibito" before. It's the word young couples toss around or you find in song lyrics, and really generally translates to boy-/girlfriend.
So what, then, is the difference between 愛人 and 恋人, and what does it mean that Tuti refers to the person his mother is with as the former? A quick google search reveals that this is a common question among Japanese people themselves, so I don't feel so bad XD
Apparently, while the term koibito carries with it the connotation of an open, public relationship much like the one most people are in when they are dating or call themselves boyfriend and girlfriend, the term aijin carries with it the connotation of exactly the opposite: a relationship founded on the same love and passion, but not open or public, hidden, for any reason be it moral, ethical, whatever.
Two students dating, open about it with their peers, may be called koibito. But a salaryman who purchases time at a love hotel on the weekends away from his wife to have an affair is with his aijin. Do I think Tuti's mom is part of an affair with a married man or something? Nah. But in a country where, at least among her generation, men and women don't just "live together" (at least not for a long time, and definitely not in a romantic relationship) without getting married, I can't imagine she would be spoken of very kindly in a small town if she was shacking up with a random dude, even if it was for a long time (the way Tuti speaks so easily of his mother's aijin, it feels like he must be a father-figure [or maybe his mom's a HOMO like her son :D]). She likely has reasons for not wanting to get married again--maybe she feels like it would be against the wedding vows she made with Tuti's father (are Japanese wedding vows even LIKE that? And dude, even in Western weddings, death's one of the tickets out~), maybe they just don't find it necessary, maybe they want to buck a trend, who knows!
Whatever the reason, I think...for Tuti to have grown up in that kind of environment, likely so different from that of his friends, it must have had an impact on how he views the meaning of a relationship with someone important, even if subliminal. Seeing that his mother was happy with someone despite what society told her she should be doing, living her life and loving who she loved regardless of what was "proper," it could only have been a positive influence on him if he found that his own feelings drifted towards the less-than-socially-acceptable. And despite the, "G-GAY?! WHY WOULD YOU THINK THAT?! HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO RESPOND TO THAT?!" attitude he has now, it....really makes me happy knowing that he at least grew up in an environment where his mom was a trend-bucking BAMF and likely instilled that in her children, too :D
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no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 03:35 pm (UTC)"こいびと koibito 恋人 = lover, sweetness, steady
あいじん aijin 愛人
= only to use for woman who is loved by man, although he has already his wife. So, as we can easy guess his family trouble by triangle relationship."
But I've heard it usually referring to casual lovers or people who have affairs! Boy toys, mistresses and the like. Now I am curious to know the circumstance and I don't even know them, ha ha. =D So nosey...
no subject
Date: 2010-03-19 12:57 am (UTC)Gah :P So curious! The "Tuti" mentioned in the post is a Tokyo small-theatre actor of...questionable sexuality (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoyReDXQUdg), so it's interesting to me to see the kind of environment he grew up in, as that can be a big impact in a society where the actions of those around you strongly shape how you behave yourself.
no subject
Date: 2010-03-19 01:55 am (UTC)I know, same! It is strange.. Perhaps it merely refers to the guy's age too though? My impression was that he'd be a boy toy! Heh. I remember reading an article where a girl described her upbringing briefly. It wasn't very nice but, her mother had a series of these Aijins. Seemed to just mean "casual lover" in that context. I suppose 愛人 covers a lot of/too many implications! Ha ha.
Yeah.. It's crazy to think how different you could've turned out had your environment of been different.. Well, it is to me, anyways! Ha ha. Hmm, it's funny because if I were a homosexual or bisexual, I don't think I'd have any trouble letting anyone know. It's always rather perplexing to think that, some people and in some locations, that's just a big No-No (or a No, nonetheless) - likewise with some other things. It's also interesting to learn about the concepts of sexuality (or the subject of sex itself) that has evolved throughout time. It seems beyond some people's understanding that the guidelines we set for when you should have sex and who you should ideally have sex with, etc, vary from place-to-place and change throughout time thus is pretty much a cultural thing rather than set in stone...
no subject
Date: 2010-03-18 04:47 pm (UTC)