The only person holding you back is yourself.

[fencer_x]

I feel like ranting.

Okay, maybe not so much ranting as...I dunno, expressing my feelings here that may or may not offend some of you, or make you feel bad. No, I'm not talking to anyone specific, but a few things lately (in personal life mostly) have made me want to slap some sense into people. And if I can't do that physically, I'll do it verbally. Or, typilly. Or whatever.

I'm 22. Just graduated college. Working a 40-hour-a-week job for the next few months, and then going off to Japan for at least a year. This makes me happy for so many reasons *gets on soapbox to brag* I've completed what were the hardest four years (and yet somehow the fastest) of my life with decent grades. I have a degree in a field that, if I chose to pursue it, would earn me a couple hundred thousand dollars a year easy--hell, I've got a degree PERIOD: this means I can do pretty much whatever the hell I want.

And you know what? I know what I want! (well, more or less) I have a goal in life towards which I'm eager to start going, and because of this I can get through the days I spend at World Market. I was so, SO depressed (well not SO depressed, but very unhappy) this time last summer, because it just felt like I was wasting my time, wasting away myself, like I would never finish college, would never escape the dreary drudgery of this kind of work. If any of you people work in retail and LIKE it, I would love to know your secret. Because good GOD I think I'd kill myself having to work that kind of job day to day.

And not even retail--if I had to work somewhere where every day was the same that I didn't truly enjoy? I would quickly go stir-crazy. Seriously. Because I can NOT take that. Some people may look at me, then, smirk, and say, "Heh, really? Well get used to it--that's the real world!"

...No. That's the world for people who do not know how to get their act together and CHANGE THEIR LIVES. I dunno if you people realize it, but you can do pretty much anything you damn well want (within reason, of course--you can't legally go around shooting priests or something just because you've wanted to do that since you were 10). Yeah, I know, that sounds like something you got told back in 3rd grade, but guess what: IT'S TRUE.

The only reason I've been able to get as far as I have on the half-assed job I've done a lot of the time (all the procrastinating, BS-ing, everything) was because I knew deep down that things would work out, that I would make them work out. Somehow. And because I had that drive in me, I'm now 2 months away from pretty much all my dreams coming true. Yeah, it's a little cliche and over the top, but it's true.

I see people, friends, sitting around talking about, "Oh I want to do this~" or "Oh I wanted to be this when I grew up," and the only thing keeping me from going, "..........so, uh, why don't/didn't you?" is sheer social graces. If you asked me to be honest with you, then I'd flat out tell you that. I find I have little sympathy for people who can't help themselves when they are perfectly capable of doing so--and unless you're paralyzed from the neck down or are under 18, news flash: you can help yourself.

Got no money to go to school? Then cut out every little splurge in your life, start saving, ask relatives to contribute to your self-betterment, and take out a loan or two! The degree you get on the way out will help pay those off, promise! Millions of people every year do the same thing, it's gotta be working for some of them.

Got a degree, but no way of going about getting your dream job? Believe me, there's always ways to get a foot in the door. Wanna be an astronaut? Then start working the reception desk at the Kennedy Space Center or something. Wanna go to Japan? Learn Japanese! (this ought to keep you occupied for a while--and believe me this helps) and then start searching Monster.com--I had 3 organizations I applied to actually call me ON THE PHONE to try and get me to go with them (my only holdback was I couldn't start fulltime). Make connections, find others who want to do what you want to do. Get informed. There's no excuse for ignorance. I hate confrontations, as 5 minutes alone with me will tell, but when I want something I can be as in-your-face as need be to get what I want.

I'm not mad at people so much as frustrated for them--I've discovered of late that getting to do what I want to do brings into sharp contrast how many others around me aren't, and it really makes me really sad, seriously. I see people, family, friends around me who, if I were stuck in their shoes, I'd be having serious mental breakdowns. How can you let yourself stagnate like that when you know there's something better out there for you?

So in conclusion: all you people out there at jobs you hate who want to do better for yourself--get off your asses and DO IT! Take a chance, be daring for once, go back to school, go to a foreign country, mow a few lawns and make a few bucks and change your life!

And to all of you who've done this already, I take my hat off to you m(__)m

I'm sorry if this offends anyone, but this is how I really feel on this topic. It's very sharp and abrasive, and I'm sure there are a lot of people out there who feel like I just don't understand your situation, that it's not as easy as I make it out to be--and you're right. I don't understand ANYONE'S situation but my own really, and I know it's not this easy; it's never this easy, or else you would've done it!

But with a little self-confidence, trust that everything will work out in the end ('cause it will, you just have to...trust XD;;; okay, redundant, I know) and take a chance on a better life. Don't go back into that office tomorrow unless you have decided to change your lot in life today. Don't walk back into your workplace tomorrow unless you know that you can change if you want to. Please.

Don't take anymore shit from your bosses or trudge through another boring workday and think that you'll be there until you die or get fired and not have the will to do anything about it.

Comments

[justsonya.livejournal.com]

I hear you. ;) You should hear my life story.

It's hard, sometimes, for people who are not as brave, or as strong, to take steps that scare them, or put them out of their security zone. Some people are raised to be afraid of stepping out of that zone. It takes time and work to grow past that.

[fencer-x.livejournal.com]

:) It's taken me a while to realize that about some people--it's really mental a lot of times, finding the drive to overcome what you think is your lot in life. I just hope that some people at least--you can't hope to change everyone--realize that there's more to life than what they've got.

[jubeichan.livejournal.com]

No, you didn't get into XX University because you didn't work hard enough for the past four years.
Affirmative action puts in a road block for a lot of people these days. You can work your ass off for 4 years but if the school needs to fill a quota and your race is not on the list the spot you "deserve" is gone.

[jubeichan.livejournal.com]

"personal non-numerical quotas" as the AP Gov exam so nicely put it. (Just where I got my information from >_<) I know it's suppose to "level" the playing field but most times it doesn't. If I was more awake I would dig out the discrimination against Asians entering college on the basis of affirmative action that came out in the winter. I just mentioned it because sometimes it's not always in the person's hand.

[fencer-x.livejournal.com]

I gotta admit, I was one of those, "DDDDD: I didn't get into the college I wanted to WAH MY LIFE IS OVER" people--and then I realized that it was a blessing in disguise, and couldn't be happier to have gone where I did.

EXACTLY--don't like the university you're at now? Maybe you shouldn't ave pissed away your past 4 years. Parents 'make too much' to qualify for aid (I hear this one a lot)? Heads up--there's tons of scholarships out there. And LOANS beautiful LOANS! Get good grades, get some money, and transfer--it's not worth it if you don't have to work for it.

Your comment is so exactly what I said on so many levels that I think I'll end this reply right here XD

[x-reggg.livejournal.com]

I'm tired of hearing that people did not get into XX University because "their parents aren't rich" or "they choked on the SATs" or "the dean of admissions is a bitch." No, you didn't get into XX University because you didn't work hard enough for the past four years. Work hard at YY University and transfer if you so desire, but whining about the cold cruel world isn't going to help you. It kills me because I know these people could have made it, that they'd be GREAT additions to the student body, but they haven't proved it to the admissions counselors... and more importantly, they haven't proved it to themselves.

not trying to pick up a fight or anything, but there are people around that work hard in secondary school, wrote their application the best they can, worked as much, or even more than other people, and still don't get into the university they want to get into. and sometimes, it really is down to the dean of admissions and whether your parents are famous or not.

and sometimes, transferring into your dream university is even harder than applying as a freshman to said university, as an international applicant to an university with a quota on international student numbers.

[x-reggg.livejournal.com]

Ohhh those people are annoying >____> although i won't continue any more, because that would be self-insulting, and i need to revise for my exams.

*runs off*

[fencer-x.livejournal.com]

I agree that transferring can be hard, and getting into your dream school isn't always as simple as having a nice essay and a few A's in high school--espcially if you aim for Ivy League or something like that >_< But then again--the college you go to does not make you who you are, I above anyone else should know that!

If I'd gone where I wanted to go, I either would be a) graduated in some Science with thousands of dollars in debt, or b) already transferred to another school.

Because I went somewhere I DIDN'T want to go, but could afford to go, I had less pressure, was able to devote a ton of time to outside interests, and found out that hey--maybe I should do something with Japanese, I'm kinda good at it!

Not only do people need to work hard to get what they want, they also need to learn to look at what they DO have and find the small blessings there. What they want, and the means to get it, may already be staring them in the face.

[jubeichan.livejournal.com]

Mhmm student loans. XD Sometimes over graduating with over $100,000 in debt detours you from doing so. Telling yourself it's an investment is the best I can do. Sadly no relative of mine would ever give me money to help me through school. Luckily for me I worked for Citibank and my parents have awesome credits so student loans are a go!

Don't take anymore shit from your bosses or trudge through another boring workday and think that you'll be there until you die or get fired and not have the will to do anything about it.
But ya gotta put up with shit from your bosses to make money. Not everyone has the luxury to pick and choose jobs until you find the one that fits you. Sometimes you just gotta put up with it until your situation improves enough you have the option to do so. Remember not everyone's situation is the same that allows them to be so...FREE.

[fencer-x.livejournal.com]

Like I said, millions of people graduate with student loans every year, and if you use your degree effectively (again: up to you) you can pay them off. My aunt graduated a few years back with her masters and about that much debt. She's an Ag teacher now with a $400,000+ condo and living quite comfortably. Not a glamorous job (but one she loves), but not exactly wallowing in debt :P

Re: bosses--no, you only have to put up with as much shit as you'll allow yourself to, really. You have the luxury of being at some job you don't like until you can get to the job you DO like, but that assumes you're actively looking for said job. If you're just piddling around at some menial labor job waiting for your dream job to land in your lap, I have little pity for you.

People whose situations don't allow them to be 'free' very often are simply not allowing THEMSELVES to be free. There are few hurdles that can't be crossed if you want to get over them badly enough.

I'm working at a job I don't really like (but luckily don't hate), but that's to simply tide me over the two months until my real job DOES start. This is an example of a hurdle keeping me from a job that I can't help: it doesn't start for two months.

Putting up with shit from your bosses is all well and good provided you enjoy your work to some degree, feel like you're making a difference being there, or are working towards some other ultimate goal. Otherwise, I don't see much worth in staying at a job like that without something more to work towards.

Like I said, though, a lot of this is driven by my personal mindset--and no one's me :P

[jubeichan.livejournal.com]

I rock back and forth at the thought of being in that much debt I just want to suck it up and crawl into a hole and go to community college. But I'd be miserable. I've picked up a few tips on getting rid of debt quicker such as consolidating it to more years and putting that extra money you would use in a high interest account for a number of years and then pay it all off way earlier then you would normally.

I only bring up the situation because my parents are in the situation where they hate their job, hate the people there an their administrators. Usually their frustration is taken out on me and I admit it isn't healthy but there's no way they can find another job. They have no college education and I'm going into college so it'd be a big mistake.

Where you referring to people at a younger age who have the time (possibly) to go back to school if they didn't before to get a degree to further themselves in a better paying better preforming job?

Also, XD I find it really..I GUESS ironic your ideals for working are exactly Japan's ideals for their job environment. The US works on a different level "make money for yourself and beat everyone to the top. Only the best survive."

[rensahannou.livejournal.com]

I knew there was a reason I liked you. ♥ (I mean, besides the obvious awesomeness and all. :D)

I agree with every single bit of this, and what's more, I needed to hear it. It's one thing to tell myself these things or for my mom to bug me about getting a job, it's something else to hear this from someone who is in your situation -- 2 months away from pretty much all your dreams coming true.

I have a degree now, too (....or I will when they mail it, anyway), and I have pretty much no idea what I want to do with it. The one thing I know, is I want to go to Japan. If I'm lucky I'll be able to get into the JET program, but I want to go before that. Heck, I want to go in August :D So what does that mean? I NEED TO FIND A JOB. I finally applied somewhere today, but I need to apply elsewhere too, and I know this, but it's still hard to make myself do it, mainly because I'm a sissy and I don't like people. And I know I need to get over that. I like to think I'm working on it.

Aaaaanyway. You're exactly right, you can do pretty much anything you want if you want it bad enough and are willing to work for it. And you really do just have to believe that everything is going to work out in the end. It's the only way to live life, really.

So. Thanks for posting this. ♥

[reppu.livejournal.com]

Hmmm...

I agree with you on some points. Personally, I'm not a strong enough person to do retail for a living. Too uncaring about other people's situations. The shoes you want are out of stock? Wait until next Monday until we get some more, idiot. Just can't do it.

However, there are people who like that. Or people who are stuck with that. Life catches up to you in the most unpleasant ways. Sometimes you goof off, and the next thing you realize, you have a family to take care of. Sometimes you have to put your dreams aside for other purposes.

On the other hand, I think most of the people you're talking about don't have those kinds of restrictions. I know people who could accomplish great things if they would just fix their mindset. Still, what you find easy to do isn't so easy for other people (though it should be, those idiots). I know folks who are addicted to shopping, so much so that they often don't have money for food. Or people who socialize too much and don't do well in school. To us, it seems like the solution is right in front of them, but making that first step is fuckin' hard.

I know this because hey, I really like doujinshi. I've cut back on the amount I'd spend on food to have more to spend on books. But eventually I realized that I was an idiot, and duh, food is important. Now I budget. It's all about learning and adaptability.

But maybe that was a silly example.

When it comes to Corporate America and actually having a job, now that is when things get sticky. Retail aside, Corporate America sucks ass. But you get paid. A LOT. The first time I interned for UPS, I was bored out of my mind, and it was a struggle to get out of bed to go to work everyday. The second time, I made the most of it, kept myself busy, and while it wasn't fun, it was bearable. I think most people get to that point, where you can put up with what you do. You just repeat, "It's almost Friday, it's almost Friday," like it's a mantra. Is that any way to live? Doesn't seem like it, but the benefits are hard to argue with. It all comes down to what you value most in your life. If it's the ability to enjoy yourself and feel accomplished, then you might be willing to take a job with less pay as long as you're satisfied. But if money is important, for whatever reason, then you might stick with what you do. My father used to work 12 hours a day, and sometimes wouldn't come home when my Mom was changing jobs, just because he wanted to give her the opportunity to do something she loved.

Somehow, I feel like I'm straying from the main point here...>__>

Right, you can do whatever you want; whether you will or you won't lies with how you view the world. If change is simple, stop griping about it and do it. But to each his own. If you're stuck, I'll hear you out, but if it's self-imposed pain, stop complaining to me and go take care of it.

By the way, it's fuckin' easy to go to Japan. Join Nova. It sucks, but near anyone that breathes and has a degree can do Nova. XD

By the way, what do you want to do? *curious*

[fencer-x.livejournal.com]

By the way, what do you want to do? *curious*

You and everyone else want to know this XD Okay--here's what I've got so far. I know eventually I want to do some kind of research into language learning and acquisition, how to help people learn other languages faster and all. How I learned Japanese is unorthodox enough, but if it worked for one person why can't it work for two?

I figure at least a year with JET, in a classroom seeing how English is being taught, and putting in my own input where possible will let me get a feel for teaching, because I've really never done it!

Whether or not I WANT to stay in that kind of environment, though, remains to be seen. I think I'd rather teach College-level kids, whether it be English or Japanese, simply because I want kids who'll WANT to be there, aren't simply being forced to (read: I'd be fine teaching these elem/middle/high school kids if it wasn't mandatory), because it comes easier then.

So maybe I'll be able to find a graduate program or something interested in having me research that (at least in psychology I'd have some MINOR use for my degree XD).

It all really depends on how this next year goes, though, whether or not I want to stay in Japan or research back home *nods*

[lavenderlilly.livejournal.com]

This sounds... a lot like my life recently. >_>;; In my situation, there were a ton of things I could've done differently in the past right out of high school that would've led me on a completely different path, but for whatever reason, I chose not to do them. And really, I'm okay with that. I've since made a lot of mistakes, but that's okay too, because I learned from them.

I know it's within my grasp to do a lot of things right now, but my problem is that I'm incredibly indecisive - to the point where I so badly want to make the "right" choice that I end up not doing anything at all. I could feasibly have had a Bachelor's degree by now and be working toward a Graduate degree, but I have absolutely no clue what kind of career I want.

All I know is I just really want to go to Japan. I don't want to work there, just visit. And dammit, I'm going to do it this time! I know my menial, barely-above-minimum-wage job will still be here when I get back, and that's fine for now. I'm still young, and I've still got plenty of options available to me. I could go back to school or work my way up from the bottom of the B&N ladder or join the circus!

...I forget what I was trying to get at here. >_> Oh yeah. Your post? AMEN! It certainly says a lot of things I wish I'd been told right after I graduated from high school, and is good advice to keep in mind at any age, really. (^_^)b

Sorry. I deleted my comment to fix my retarded html tag. ^_^;;

[nacchi-camui.livejournal.com]

*nods* I start from the fact that we have only one life, so might as well be happy living it; and fuck "you can't always do what you want". Yes you can.

[shy-violette.livejournal.com]

^_^ Honey, the reason you're frustrated is because you figured out one of the great truths of life long before most people ever will. ^^; Sometimes it's really hard to figure out what it is that YOU want to do, as opposed to what it is everyone else wants or expects from you. It took me a long time to figure out what I wanted, and I still waffle about it, and I still have many moments of doubt. And me, I've been extremely fortunate-- my work found me, rather than me finding it. XD Be patient-- and speak up! Fuck those social graces. If you tell someone that they can find it, it's actually quite inspiring. (As long as you do it nicely.)

In the Feng Shui book I'm reading right now (I know, I know, Feng Shui qua qua?) the author says, "Sometimes it just matters how you look at things. If you say, "I should do this," you are less likely to, because you shift guilt and pressure onto yourself. But if you say, "I could do this..." it makes it easier. Likewise, there isn't a "Can't," really... there's a "won't." And where there's a 'won't,' you can ask the question, "Well, why not?"

It's helping me clean up my house, anyway. ^_^

[miku-alone.livejournal.com]

Wow, thank you. I try hard to be optimistic myself but sometimes people telling these things to my face (or something like that) is an added aid.

Plus I'm 21. I used to think that for a 21 years old creature like me, who has just graduated and waiting for her board exam, I'm doing bad. But reading this entry of yours made me realize that, "hey, I'm starting here!" So thanks.

Learning another language is a big advantage, yeah. I am currently taking up Japanese lessons ^_^ For one, it's related to my passion and two, it's an added plus when it comes to employment.

That's all. *bows*

[drivingmyself.livejournal.com]

I'm glad I'm still under 18 and here where I live studying in university is free. I think this was the most useful entry that I have read for ages, for me at least, because duh, I have to start deciding what I'm going to do when high school ends, I have many dreams, though. You know, you made a summary about what everybody should think and do, if they want to make their dream true. I should do that too, find more information about opportunities and all.

Making the dream true or working a lot to reach something seems sometimes hard.

[gabbi.livejournal.com]

This entry was so beautiful, and I really mean it...
I also came to this conclusion about a year ago. I was in highschool and concentraded on economics, even though I don't like economics that much, but I felt it would secure my future. But then when my last year at highschool was about to end, I realised that it didn't feel right. Did I really want to do this? Did I want to sit in an office all day and go through paper after paper filled with numbers?

After graduation I made a 180 degree turn och applied to a collage education for people who wanted to be illustrators and comic-artist. My greatest dream of all has always been to draw... ever since I was a kid. The school accepts 30 people every year from all of the country, and I got in. It was a dream come true.
The harsh reality about this is that it's hard to make a living as a comic artist or an illustrator, but I want to do this anyway. It's not like I'm doing this for the money. I want a job that I know I will love to go to every day.
My parents was hesitant on letting me to this because of the low income, but they have encouraged me ever since I started this education.
I feel very grateful to them and I hope to one day become a great and big comic artist that they can be proud over. I never want them to regret supporting me on this.
So yeah... I'm still in education. And the first year in this school has been the best year of my life.
Now I want to learn japanese too... and there isn't anything that can stop me ~_^
Thanks for an inspiring entry! And sorry that I poured my life story on you ^^;

Ps. sorry for grammar and spelling mistakes. I'm swedish 0_o;

[hibimaosuki.livejournal.com]

I would so love to print this out and make my parents read it because I want them to realize that while I appreciate them trying to put direction in my life, the direction I want to go isn't necessarily bad.

Sadly, I'm Filipino and got my family values from the Chinese, so boo for me. I'd either be disowned (not likely) or ignored for a year (highly likely), and I can't take either, both financially and emotionally. I'd probably jump into the middle of the highway at midnight without hesitation.

So I guess what I can do know is just... I dunno. Fulfill their dreams of my being a doctor. Then once I get those specializations out of the way, I'm off. ^_^ No more living in the Philippines for me -- I'm thinking States or Japan. ^_________^

But first I have to get through college. XD

[senyum.livejournal.com]

Total agreement.

If you don't like your situation, it's fairly easy to change...especially if you live in a developed country and have had a basic education =/

[aurorn.livejournal.com]

*has been inspired by this post* Not that I wasn't already working towards these things myself, but this post did help to remind me that: Yes, going to Alberta to save up a bunch of money so I can come back home and afford to go to school is a really good idea, why was I ever worried about it?
And I'm really happy for you that you are getting to follow your dream, because with this kind of attitude and determination, you deserve it :)
Maybe I'll see you in a couple years when I can finally get out there to start teaching myself.

[kitkat583.livejournal.com]

Hi~ I'm Ayla and I loved this post. I'm 14 and working towards becoming an author, because it's my dream (going on three years now!). Of course, I'll need another job to get food, a house, and all that good stuff, but I'll work on that later. Wanna add me?

I also love Tenimyu and TXN and such. :D I love your layout~!

[manikineko.livejournal.com]

I´ve been browsing around your lj out of curiosity but as I read this post I felt like you had just written down my thoughts. I totally agree with you that there is hardly anything you can not do. I am studying international economic and cultural studies and there are a lot of students around me whose only goal is to earn a lot of money and when I ask them what they want to with that much money the only answer I get is "spare it". They don´t even know what they are sparing their money for. Everyone of them has dreams but they just don´t follow them. People in Germany are far too anxious to risk something, everything is about becoming old rich or so. But I want to live my life and earn my money with the work I love even if I have yet to find this work. I want to travel around the world although I don´t have the money. I will just work during my holidays and spend all of it on this trip ^^ And if anybody asks why I don´t spare these 2.500 Euros for something more useful than a trip to Japan I can only answer that following my dreams is the best I can do. I want to die old and happy, not old and rich >_>

The sentence I hate the most is "I don´t have a choice" coming from someone who does not have any real problems and is just too "emo" to wake up and DO something.

Well, I only wanted to say this ^^ I think you are a very energetic and straightforward person, I like that :)