Not CurryFic, buuuuut...
15 September 2008 10:36 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
fencer_xBored, so I fic'd :D Random Eiji/Daiki ficlet from one of the previous drabble meme requests:
"Get off my bed and help me, Tsuchiya."
"Help with what?" Tuti grunted, popping another chip into his mouth and crunching it loudly, making every effort he could to spill crumbs all over Daiki's comforter. He wiped a greasy hand on the pillowcase and swallowed. "Here's some advice--stop acting like a girl. I'm pretty sure that's the first step."
Daiki stood back up straight from rifling through a box of clothes, hands on his hips and frowning at the man on his bed. "I asked you not to eat on my bed, Tsuchiya--look, you're getting crumbs everywhere!" He picked his way across the cramped room, side-stepping stacks of manga and DVDs. Tuti sat up against the wall and tossed the empty can at Daiki's head, nearly beaning him square on the forehead. "Oi, cut it out! Dammit..." Daiki leaned over and picked up the container, tossing it instead into the burnable garbage can.
"You're so prissy, let loose. He likes you better like that."
"I was calm before you started turning my room into a pigsty--"
"Hey," Tuti objected, reaching for his bottled tea, "It was like this when I got here."
"And what do you know about what he likes?"
"Uuuh," Tuti deadpanned, "I've known the guy for almost as long as you have? And I'm pretty sure no one likes you when you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, least of all Moriyama-san."
Daiki paused in his mad scramble to find whatever shirt he'd been looking for for the past half hour to glance over at Tuti, more nervous now than angry. "...What do you mean?"
"What do you mean what do I mean?" He took a swig of his drink, eyeing a copy of the most recent issue of Look at Star on Daiki's table with interest. He grabbed the magazine and began idly flipping through it. "It's not hard to figure out: you're not exactly fun to be around when..."
He paused, and in the silence Daiki dropped the shirt he'd finally found, worry lacing his voice. "...When what?"
Tuti frowned at the magazine in his hands. "Holy shit, did you see what Yuzawa-san's wearing in this interview? God I haven't seen that much lace on a man since that Christmas party last year when Takashi and Kime-chan raided his niece's dress-up chest..."
"Tsuchiya!" Daiki snapped, glare waxing murderous now, and Tuti jumped in his seat, letting the magazine drop to the floor. "When what?!"
"Geez you don't have to yell, I'm right here--and I'm sure your neighbors have enough to complain about already what with--" Daiki moved to step closer, and Tuti wisely switched tacks, "When you get all uptight and tense! Like you are right now!"
"Well you're making me!"
"Then why the hell did you ask me to come help you get all pretty for your stupid date?! Seriously--why not Wasshi, or even Takashi? At least he'd be able to do you some good." Daiki had to admit he had a point--asking Tuti for help picking out an outfit to wear that evening was a case of the blind leading the blind with the two of them.
"Because--because Wasshi had rehearsals tonight...and you know Eiji better than him or Takashi."
"...So you don't want my fashion advice?"
"Hell no."
"...Okay, that's a relief. Because I was seriously starting to doubt your place as Leader if you thought..." He paused his babbling when it became obvious Daiki was no longer going to be party to his jokes for the evening. A loud sigh. "All right, fine. I give. What do you want me to do?"
Daiki favored him with a shy smile, glad to finally have Tuti playing along properly. He pulled the t-shirt tattered and stained from a hundred rehearsals over his head, tossing it into the ever-growing pile in the corner with the rest of his laundry, and tugged on a tight tanktop. "Just--tell me what you do on dates."
"...You've never been on a date?"
"Well with girls yeah, but..."
"...I'm pretty sure it's the same then, Leader. Just, you know. Less breasts. More cock."
"Shut up, Tsuchiya," Daiki muttered, cheeks flushing at Tuti's usual frank speech.
"Make up your mind, do you want my advice or not?"
"I'm beginning to wonder..." Daiki groaned, busying himself with various belts now.
"Seriously, I'm willing to bet 2000 yen this isn't even going to be a real date. Did he say what you're doing?"
"Well," Daiki hedged, running a hand through his hair and showering Tuti with sprinkles of water, who sputtered in annoyance. "It's no big deal--we're just gonna go out to eat, and then maybe see a movie..."
"Wow," Tuti snorted, taking another swig of tea, "What a romantic guy, that Moriyama-san. Looks like I'm winning this bet."
"Define real date then, stud."
"Listen, it's not a date unless there's some form of kissing involved."
"Uh huh."
"Now, whether that kissing happens above that hideously tacky belt you're thinking of wearing or below it is entirely up to you two--"
"You're disgusting, Tsuchiya."
"And it's precisely that kind of thinking that's going to make this very much not a date, as I said."
"Hey!" Daiki protested, whipping off the belt Tuti had just verbally ripped to pieces. "I never said I had a problem kissing anyone."
"Oooh so you two gonna do it?"
Daiki rolled his eyes. "You're right, I should've asked Takashi for help..."
"Too late~" Tuti sing-songed. "Seriously though, Leader...you've never really...you know...with a guy before, right?"
"Oh no, noooo no no, Tsuchiya." Daiki backed away towards the bathroom now. "I don't need bedroom advice from the guy who must've set some new record for most consecutive nights spent alone on his own couch."
"Hey, you can never have enough techniques up your sleeve--"
"We're going to dinner and a movie, Tsuchiya--I don't plan on needing any techniques quite yet." He disappeared into the bathroom and turned on the sink faucet, splashing his face.
"Aah, but does Moriyama-san feel the same way?" Tuti called out, wiggling his eyebrows as he pushed himself up off the bed to walk towards the bathroom. "How do you know he hasn't been planning this for months and is hoping to meet the real Sano Daiki, Jr., tonight?"
The faucet squeaked as Daiki stopped the water, looking up into the mirror at Tuti behind him. "...But...it's Eiji..."
"Uh, duh? You two've only been gagging for each other for something like two years. I'm surprised your heads haven't exploded right now from all the sexual tension. In fact I'm pretty sure Moriyama-san's would have if he didn't jerk off after every senshuuraku while Wasshi distracted you."
"What the--what the hell?! He jerks off in the theater showers?!"
"Mostly the showers." Daiki looked like he was about to faint, and Tuti quickly reassured him, "But--hey it's no big deal, everyone jerks off in the theater showers!"
"Oh--my god, you too?!"
Tuti nodded, confused. "...What, you don't?"
Daiki just shook a finger in his face, pushing past him back into the room. "Remind me to keep a closer eye on all of you people next time."
"Ooh, kinky, Leader." A shudder of disgust, and Tuti laughed loudly, slapping the shoulder nearest to him. "Geez, lighten up. Forget about it--just think about the lovely time you're going to have this evening with your stupid fuku-Leader and do us all a favor by reminding him that acting moony-eyed over someone stops being cute once you hit 30."
"He doesn't get moony-eyed over me," Daiki argued, but without much bite, and couldn't quite keep the smug smile off of his face at the indirect compliment.
"Trust me, there were moony-eyes. I have seen them. Usually when you do something the girls in the audience find stupidly cute and act like you're 5."
"I can't help it if people think I'm cute."
"Anymore than Takashi can help looking like a girl, I'm sure." Tuti snorted for good measure to emphasize his disbelief. "You just don't want it bad enough."
"Well it's worked for me for nearly 30 years so far, I think I'm gonna stick with it."
"That's what Takashi says about the girl thing, and I just don't get it."
Daiki smiled even wider, whirling around in place and holding his hands out. "So, how do I look?"
Tuti ran his eyes up and down Daiki's form, pasting on a pensive mien for effect. "I would give you...an FF score of 88%."
"What's an FF score?"
"Fuckability factor, dear Leader."
"Oh--shit, is that bad?"
"...I guess it depends on your point of view." Daiki frowned. "I'm just kidding, calm down. It's fine--it's you." This seemed to satisfy the man, and Daiki glanced at his watch.
"Almost 5 now...I guess I could go ahead and head over now."
"Where are you meeting?"
"Ikebukuro, east exit."
Tuti snorted, "Wow, you two definitely aren't going for low-key, are you?"
Daiki blanched, "What--you think someone will see us?"
"Well--I didn't mean that. It's just--" He could see a thousand worst-case-scenarios working themselves up into a frenzy behind Daiki's eyes now. "No, I don't. No one will notice you, guys hang out in Ikebukuro all the time. You'll blend in perfectly, just don't go make out in the Tokyu Hands bathrooms or anything." A pause. "The ones in Sunshine City are a lot nicer, anyways."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Hey," Tuti held his hands out magnanimously. "That's what you called me here for, isn't it?"
"Get off my bed and help me, Tsuchiya."
"Help with what?" Tuti grunted, popping another chip into his mouth and crunching it loudly, making every effort he could to spill crumbs all over Daiki's comforter. He wiped a greasy hand on the pillowcase and swallowed. "Here's some advice--stop acting like a girl. I'm pretty sure that's the first step."
Daiki stood back up straight from rifling through a box of clothes, hands on his hips and frowning at the man on his bed. "I asked you not to eat on my bed, Tsuchiya--look, you're getting crumbs everywhere!" He picked his way across the cramped room, side-stepping stacks of manga and DVDs. Tuti sat up against the wall and tossed the empty can at Daiki's head, nearly beaning him square on the forehead. "Oi, cut it out! Dammit..." Daiki leaned over and picked up the container, tossing it instead into the burnable garbage can.
"You're so prissy, let loose. He likes you better like that."
"I was calm before you started turning my room into a pigsty--"
"Hey," Tuti objected, reaching for his bottled tea, "It was like this when I got here."
"And what do you know about what he likes?"
"Uuuh," Tuti deadpanned, "I've known the guy for almost as long as you have? And I'm pretty sure no one likes you when you run around like a chicken with its head cut off, least of all Moriyama-san."
Daiki paused in his mad scramble to find whatever shirt he'd been looking for for the past half hour to glance over at Tuti, more nervous now than angry. "...What do you mean?"
"What do you mean what do I mean?" He took a swig of his drink, eyeing a copy of the most recent issue of Look at Star on Daiki's table with interest. He grabbed the magazine and began idly flipping through it. "It's not hard to figure out: you're not exactly fun to be around when..."
He paused, and in the silence Daiki dropped the shirt he'd finally found, worry lacing his voice. "...When what?"
Tuti frowned at the magazine in his hands. "Holy shit, did you see what Yuzawa-san's wearing in this interview? God I haven't seen that much lace on a man since that Christmas party last year when Takashi and Kime-chan raided his niece's dress-up chest..."
"Tsuchiya!" Daiki snapped, glare waxing murderous now, and Tuti jumped in his seat, letting the magazine drop to the floor. "When what?!"
"Geez you don't have to yell, I'm right here--and I'm sure your neighbors have enough to complain about already what with--" Daiki moved to step closer, and Tuti wisely switched tacks, "When you get all uptight and tense! Like you are right now!"
"Well you're making me!"
"Then why the hell did you ask me to come help you get all pretty for your stupid date?! Seriously--why not Wasshi, or even Takashi? At least he'd be able to do you some good." Daiki had to admit he had a point--asking Tuti for help picking out an outfit to wear that evening was a case of the blind leading the blind with the two of them.
"Because--because Wasshi had rehearsals tonight...and you know Eiji better than him or Takashi."
"...So you don't want my fashion advice?"
"Hell no."
"...Okay, that's a relief. Because I was seriously starting to doubt your place as Leader if you thought..." He paused his babbling when it became obvious Daiki was no longer going to be party to his jokes for the evening. A loud sigh. "All right, fine. I give. What do you want me to do?"
Daiki favored him with a shy smile, glad to finally have Tuti playing along properly. He pulled the t-shirt tattered and stained from a hundred rehearsals over his head, tossing it into the ever-growing pile in the corner with the rest of his laundry, and tugged on a tight tanktop. "Just--tell me what you do on dates."
"...You've never been on a date?"
"Well with girls yeah, but..."
"...I'm pretty sure it's the same then, Leader. Just, you know. Less breasts. More cock."
"Shut up, Tsuchiya," Daiki muttered, cheeks flushing at Tuti's usual frank speech.
"Make up your mind, do you want my advice or not?"
"I'm beginning to wonder..." Daiki groaned, busying himself with various belts now.
"Seriously, I'm willing to bet 2000 yen this isn't even going to be a real date. Did he say what you're doing?"
"Well," Daiki hedged, running a hand through his hair and showering Tuti with sprinkles of water, who sputtered in annoyance. "It's no big deal--we're just gonna go out to eat, and then maybe see a movie..."
"Wow," Tuti snorted, taking another swig of tea, "What a romantic guy, that Moriyama-san. Looks like I'm winning this bet."
"Define real date then, stud."
"Listen, it's not a date unless there's some form of kissing involved."
"Uh huh."
"Now, whether that kissing happens above that hideously tacky belt you're thinking of wearing or below it is entirely up to you two--"
"You're disgusting, Tsuchiya."
"And it's precisely that kind of thinking that's going to make this very much not a date, as I said."
"Hey!" Daiki protested, whipping off the belt Tuti had just verbally ripped to pieces. "I never said I had a problem kissing anyone."
"Oooh so you two gonna do it?"
Daiki rolled his eyes. "You're right, I should've asked Takashi for help..."
"Too late~" Tuti sing-songed. "Seriously though, Leader...you've never really...you know...with a guy before, right?"
"Oh no, noooo no no, Tsuchiya." Daiki backed away towards the bathroom now. "I don't need bedroom advice from the guy who must've set some new record for most consecutive nights spent alone on his own couch."
"Hey, you can never have enough techniques up your sleeve--"
"We're going to dinner and a movie, Tsuchiya--I don't plan on needing any techniques quite yet." He disappeared into the bathroom and turned on the sink faucet, splashing his face.
"Aah, but does Moriyama-san feel the same way?" Tuti called out, wiggling his eyebrows as he pushed himself up off the bed to walk towards the bathroom. "How do you know he hasn't been planning this for months and is hoping to meet the real Sano Daiki, Jr., tonight?"
The faucet squeaked as Daiki stopped the water, looking up into the mirror at Tuti behind him. "...But...it's Eiji..."
"Uh, duh? You two've only been gagging for each other for something like two years. I'm surprised your heads haven't exploded right now from all the sexual tension. In fact I'm pretty sure Moriyama-san's would have if he didn't jerk off after every senshuuraku while Wasshi distracted you."
"What the--what the hell?! He jerks off in the theater showers?!"
"Mostly the showers." Daiki looked like he was about to faint, and Tuti quickly reassured him, "But--hey it's no big deal, everyone jerks off in the theater showers!"
"Oh--my god, you too?!"
Tuti nodded, confused. "...What, you don't?"
Daiki just shook a finger in his face, pushing past him back into the room. "Remind me to keep a closer eye on all of you people next time."
"Ooh, kinky, Leader." A shudder of disgust, and Tuti laughed loudly, slapping the shoulder nearest to him. "Geez, lighten up. Forget about it--just think about the lovely time you're going to have this evening with your stupid fuku-Leader and do us all a favor by reminding him that acting moony-eyed over someone stops being cute once you hit 30."
"He doesn't get moony-eyed over me," Daiki argued, but without much bite, and couldn't quite keep the smug smile off of his face at the indirect compliment.
"Trust me, there were moony-eyes. I have seen them. Usually when you do something the girls in the audience find stupidly cute and act like you're 5."
"I can't help it if people think I'm cute."
"Anymore than Takashi can help looking like a girl, I'm sure." Tuti snorted for good measure to emphasize his disbelief. "You just don't want it bad enough."
"Well it's worked for me for nearly 30 years so far, I think I'm gonna stick with it."
"That's what Takashi says about the girl thing, and I just don't get it."
Daiki smiled even wider, whirling around in place and holding his hands out. "So, how do I look?"
Tuti ran his eyes up and down Daiki's form, pasting on a pensive mien for effect. "I would give you...an FF score of 88%."
"What's an FF score?"
"Fuckability factor, dear Leader."
"Oh--shit, is that bad?"
"...I guess it depends on your point of view." Daiki frowned. "I'm just kidding, calm down. It's fine--it's you." This seemed to satisfy the man, and Daiki glanced at his watch.
"Almost 5 now...I guess I could go ahead and head over now."
"Where are you meeting?"
"Ikebukuro, east exit."
Tuti snorted, "Wow, you two definitely aren't going for low-key, are you?"
Daiki blanched, "What--you think someone will see us?"
"Well--I didn't mean that. It's just--" He could see a thousand worst-case-scenarios working themselves up into a frenzy behind Daiki's eyes now. "No, I don't. No one will notice you, guys hang out in Ikebukuro all the time. You'll blend in perfectly, just don't go make out in the Tokyu Hands bathrooms or anything." A pause. "The ones in Sunshine City are a lot nicer, anyways."
"Thanks for that stellar advice."
"Hey," Tuti held his hands out magnanimously. "That's what you called me here for, isn't it?"
