I'm judging you.

I can see this sort of thing has been a long time coming, and I really don't blame you. But I think we need to ask ourselves what we want to fix, what can be fixed, and what may simply be inevitable.

For starters, I agree with your sentiments regarding treatment of BNFs in the fandom. As an "old school" member (not really a BNF anymore, hopefully) and someone who has lived through the same feelings, I can see where your frustration and unhappiness may originate from. I think that as fangirls we really desire nothing else but to speak on an equal level with our peers, to share ideas and thoughts and inspirations and sudden insights into these guys' personalities and personal lives. Being revered and deferred to without question though kind of defeats the creativity that usually arises from conflict or at least a steady exchange of ideas that may contradict or add to the discussion. I too miss the days of essays and discussions, but over time having people agree with you because of your name and not because you're necessarily right becomes a bit depressing. We have so many wonderful and intelligent people in the fandom, but the ratio of sheep to shepherds is much greater than I wish it was :(

As Cate mentioned in hers, I'm in agreement with her regarding the resurrection of oh_tuti to provide us with the day-to-day type updates on these guys' lives. Sure, they rarely if ever talk about each other, but for many of us authors and speculators I think that the appeal not only lies in those special moments and extraordinary occurrences, but also in discovering who these men are and what things drive them in their daily lives. For me, one of the biggest things I came to love about Tuti and Nagayan was that, even though they're both extremely busy actors with independent jobs and interests, as a couple they work. How did I know they worked? Because I came to know them better as individuals and saw the edges of the puzzle pieces with a clarity that inspired fics and discussions by the dozens. For Cate and I, our motivations lie most strongly in the psychology and the comprehension of these two men as individuals first, and then as a potential couple second. Of course there will always be certain events or backstage footage or interviews that spark off a story idea or a topic of discussion, but because this is real life those events happen few and far between. Why should we have to wait for something to happen at all? It's the connection that we miss most of all, the feeling of closeness and comprehension and empathy, and also the dots that become connected once those seemingly random, mundane, useless details reveal themselves to be part of a much bigger and amazing picture. So what we're really saying I suppose is to give oh_tuti a shot again and see what comes about :D